I never really wanted to own the revolver, but my husband thought I should be able to protect myself if someone entered our home when he was not around. I had my concerns about having the gun, but as anyone who’s ever been married will tell you, sometimes you just know when you’re not going to win. He persisted, and I relented.

I believe my husband’s decision to end his life two years ago was made seconds before it happened. His fate was sealed only when he reached for one of his guns for the last time. Once the hammer started to fall, that was it.