The benefits of the system circumvent many of the issues Silver discussed. You know every single person you’re matched with isn’t looking to “have fun and see where it goes”—marriage is the ultimate goal. You don’t have to be afraid the relationship might go on for years aimlessly; if it’s not a good fit, both parties generally move on fairly quickly to the next match.

Behavior like “ghosting,” getting handsy, and sending pictures of one’s genitalia is reported back to the matchmaker, who would never make another match for the offending party again. If you’re really unlucky, your mom might get a call about it too. The Jewish community is small, which is in many ways a blessing and a curse, but one cannot presume to send photos of private parts and hope to stay anonymous. Everybody you went to school, camp, and synagogue with is likely to hear about it in a week’s time.

Matchmaking systems work in a variety of ways: there’s an online service called SawYouAtSinai where volunteer matchmakers set up paid users, larger-scale matchmakers who collect shidduch resumes and often expect payment upon successful matches, and smaller-scale matchmakers who largely operate on a volunteer basis.