I have a confession to make: I’m a hater lurking at a convention of haters. Our thoughtcrimes are clear and inexcusable. I’m at a meeting of Christians who believe the Bible is true, who believe that mankind is fallen and in need of a Savior, and who believe that we should live according to certain moral rules — including rules that govern sexual conduct. We believe that we should have the basic liberty to live according to that faith, and we also believe that other human beings should be able to live according to the different dictates of their consciences, so long as we all respect each other’s fundamental rights. To make matters even worse, I used to work for this hate group. I was a senior counsel, supervising a whole platoon of hateful litigators.

This may come as a shock to some readers, but there are apparently millions upon million of people like us in these United States. There are even — imagine this! — elected officials who share these vile beliefs. We tend to gather together once per week, we form groups that advocate for life and liberty, and we sometimes even attend conventions where we discuss legal and cultural trends. Fortunately, however, the mainstream media is on the case, ready to blow the lid off our secret covens of corruption.