There are Jews in the Middle East and Africa. There are Christians in the Middle East and Africa. There are animists, Zoroastrians, Hindus, and others. But only certain Muslims, often from wealthy families, turn into terrorists. The Jews, Christians, animists, Zoroastrians, Hindus, and the rest never seem to be affected by global warming in that way.

Perhaps instead of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to explore why lesbians are fat, the federal government should spend some cash on why global warming turns only Muslims into terrorists.

Or maybe it doesn’t.