“Remember that time little Jimmy kept his trap shut about how true social justice requires us to use only fair trade, free range turkeys that were properly Mirandized before receiving their final meal of locally sourced quiñoa?” they’ll ask. “That was the best Thanksgiving ever.”

“My favorite holiday memory is when Sally chose not to ask whether the pumpkin really granted affirmative consent before being turned into a GMO-fueled pie of white privilege,” is how your family will lovingly recount that one time you kept your opinions to yourself during dinner.

If you want this Thanksgiving to be fun and enjoyable for the whole family, don’t start any arguments. Don’t bring up politics. Don’t ruin everything by starting a stupid Thanksgiving argument about politics. It’s really that simple.