The Laser-Guided Tactical Necktie puts everything you need to compete in office battle right at your fingertips. Made from the finest tactical nylon, the tie uses a military-style MOLLE (MOdular Lightweight Load-carrying Equipment) attachment system, so you can keep all of your tactical gear right where you need it.

The tie comes with one removable pouch where you can keep anything from an encrypted thumb drive containing all of your favorite science fiction books, to a copy of your building’s emergency plan, just in case. Near the top there’s a nice D ring where you can hang larger items like a smartphone or your spare nerd glasses.