Father's Day advice for freeloaders

3. Do Gooder: Instead of coasting by on the bare minimum of chores to postpone your inevitable eviction, act like you owe the man your life. Start with his laundry and try stocking the fridge with his favorite brew. Brownie points for ordering your ma some flowers in his name with a nice note, like: “It wouldn’t be Father’s Day for me without you.”

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4. Labor Market: In this economy, odds are your dad doesn’t want to be your patron. Do him a favor and trade in your unpaid internship for something that pays an honest day’s wage. Even if it’s as a waiter or dog walker. Maybe not so fulfilling for you, but it definitely will be for him.

5. Gift Shop: Unless socks and ties are his passion, be more creative this year. Get him something that would make you jealous, like a new iPhone or ballgame tickets. If you’re going to save your money, make sure it’s to sign a lease.

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