In what “one of the funniest, most eloquent court documents we’ve ever seen,” a federal judge in Texas has loaded up his ruling on a case involving San Antonio strip clubs with at least 17 double entendres. …

In what he called The Case of the Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Bikini Top v. the (More) Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Pastie, Chief U.S. District Judge Fred Biery denied the clubs’ request. In doing so, he certainly had some fun writing his opinion:

— “An ordinance dealing with semi-nude dancers has once again fallen on the Court’s lap.”

— “The age old question before the Court, now with constitutional implications is: Does size matter?”

— “The Court infers Plaintiffs fear enforcement of the ordinance would strip them of their profits, adversely impacting their bottom line.”

— “Plaintiffs, and by extension their customers, seek an erection of a constitutional wall separating themselves from the regulatory power of City government.”