In a fit of extreme profanity, Jones even claimed that certain parents of Sandy Hook victims were involved—wittingly or otherwise—in the conspiracy (without enumerating the goals or perpetrators of the conspiracy). Citing “independent researchers,” Jones pointed his readers to a press conference held by Robbie Parker, father of murdered 6-year-old victim Emilie Parker: “It appears that members of the media or government have given [Robbie Parker] a card and are telling him what to say as they steer reaction to this event, so this needs to be looked into.”

Thank God for American patriots like Jones, eh?

But the theory that gained the most traction involved Hollywood’s Batman film franchise. For some reason, the crackerjack researchers at “scoured the Batman movies and pored over various Gotham City maps to find anything that could support the theory that the movies may have had hints of foreknowledge of the tragic massacre that occurred last week, because where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire.” “What we’ve found,” the site ominously claimed, “is interesting to say the least.”