“No fault to Rubio’s biology — there’s absolutely nothing’s wrong with a diminishing hair count, and some stats say 40% of men will experience hair loss by age 35 (me among them) — but there are ways to exacerbate the issue, like what Rubio’s doing presently, and ways to alleviate it a little,” writes Esquire, quoting a men’s hair stylist describing the Rubio dome as “not far off from combover city.”

Helpfully, the stylist advises a different hair cut for the West Miami Republican as well as L’Oreal Vive Men’s Thickening and Grooming Foam.