As it turns out, I was having a heart attack. I found this out because the paramedics told me, which I find amusing. You’ve got to tell a guy he’s having a heart attack, but you don’t want to upset him because…he’s having a heart attack. I’d love to see that page in the employee handbook.
My first thought was, “People die from those, huh?”
Immediately, I sent a text message to my 5 year-old (in care of his mother) so that he would always know I’d been thinking of him, just in case (the older kids already know how I feel). Then, phone in hand, I had that revelatory thought. I began to tweet about my heart attack, suppressing a laugh at the possible reactions. Those who knew me would get a kick out of it, and those who didn’t would see it as a wacky new-media story. I was actually satirizing my own story, in real time. This may seem strange to some people, but the knowledge that my death would make the joke funnier was actually a comfort.