It Takes Two Hands to Handle a Whopper

As you can see, it fits comfortably, at least in my oversized mitts. And it’s a good-looking burger. Compared to the old Whopper, the presentation is much better. The box means it arrives un-smushed, the garden looks fresh and healthy, the bun is a bit more substantial, and the cheese and ketchup stand out attractively. Visually, it’s a big improvement over the old Whopper.

But take a bite and, at least in my opinion, it’s not as good. I mean it’s fine, it’s a decent burger. But the substantial bun is (by design) kind of sweet. I don’t like that. I don’t like brioche buns and this is halfway there. They’ve changed the mayo and the “upgrade” is a downgrade to me. The old mayo was nicely tangy, the new one is kinda flavorless.

The tomatoes, pickles, onions, etc. are good — the grilled fresh onions are an upgrade — but worst of all, the meat is a big step down. My burger had not a trace of the flame-broiled taste I associate with a Whopper. Its primary overtone was saltiness. Between that and the flavorless mayo, I found the whole burger disappointingly bland.

Your results may differ — maybe you like bland burgers — but the new Whopper doesn’t deliver what I’m looking for when I order a Whopper. And while I don’t crave a Whopper super often, it’s a bit sad that now I won’t be able to get what I crave when I do.