The Donald Trump babysitting experience only runs into the danger that he will spoil them to the nth degree, ordering them the giant box of McNuggets with all the sauces, teaching them how to hit wiffle balls off the back porch and giving them free reign to watch every Disney+ movie they want to their heart’s content. You’ll come home from the night out with the wife and find them on a sugar and Moana high demanding that Uncle Donny come back again as soon as possible. 

An evening with Liz Cheney, on the other hand, is assured to result in them casting paranoid eyes at mommy and daddy, reversing their audio devices to spy on the other rooms and demanding to know if you’re all paid up on your camera-issued parking tickets. You know they’re important for maintaining roads and bridges, right? Just hope she doesn’t try to teach them how to shoot dart guns, or they’ll put your eye out.