Kamala’s in-house memelords may be au current, but only because advisors know the vice president’s interview performance is stuck in a 90s sitcom or police procedural. The script has been the same for the past five seasons: an obvious question she should be prepared for; an awkward, high-pitched laugh as she tries to buy herself more time to reach for the answer her people provided for her; a third act of delicious word salad. Not convinced? You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?

This is why the Democratic National Convention was one of the more choreographed conventions of the last few decades. Light on policy and heavy on familiar cringe, it’s all a spectacle made to help you forget that the candidate running once owned worse approval ratings than Biden and has still never had a primary vote cast for her at the top of the ticket — ever.