To commemorate its three years of control over what was once a U.S. stronghold, the Taliban put on a show at Bagram Airbase, displaying all of the high-grade military equipment it inherited when Vice President Harris and the Biden administration abandoned the base.

"We could never have become this strong without Kamala Harris," said Taliban spokesterrorist Hassan Al-Samir. "Though we were once a rag-tag band of goat herders causing trouble in the mountains, we are now a fully equipped military force. Thank you, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. You helped make us what we are today. Death to America!"