Experts Recommend Using 'Latine' If You Want a Punch In the Face

"Latinx is an outdated term, as everyone was making fun of us and giving us wedgies for using it," said Gender-Ethnic Studies Professor Edwina Skuzz, while holding a bag of frozen peas on her swollen eye socket. "Latine is the new official term for persons of Hispanic origin that will help you avoid offensive gendered language."

"Unfortunately, it will not help you avoid getting punched in the face."

"I dare you to call me 'Latine' one more time," said José Gonzales, a farmer in Ranco Encantada, as he pulled up his sleeves and prepared to punch our reporter in the face.