According to sources, the President began his day by signing several important documents placed before him by White House Chief of Staff Jeff Zients. After an hour he asked for his final score.

"Uh, 300 points," Zients said offhandedly.

At publishing time, Biden had a chance for double victory points for holding a press conference but ended up losing points when he went off teleprompter.

For those keeping score at home, the president's current point total stands at -237.