In a bid to further solidify the company's push for diversity, equity, and inclusion, Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun announced he would be resigning after evidence surfaced that he is a white male.

Though airplane malfunctions and emergencies continued to make headlines, a company spokesperson stressed that its staunch commitment to DEI practices was the impetus for Calhoun's stepping down after new information revealed his white maleness.

"This was a shocking revelation," the spokesperson said. "Once it came to light that Mr. Calhoun is a white male, everyone knew he could no longer continue as CEO. Boeing takes great pride in placing adherence to DEI principles above everything else — even product quality and passenger safety — and even Dave agreed that his status as a white guy was unacceptable."