Major airline carriers throughout the United States announced this week they will be offering passengers upgrades to have a gray-haired old man named Steve pilot their flight.
“This has nothing to do with race or DEI,” Delta spokesperson Tim Alexander told reporters. “We just feel like some of our passengers would prefer an old pilot with maybe one of those dated little mustaches. For an extra one hundred bucks, they can guarantee that whoever is flying the plane also likes a good game of golf with the boys on the weekends, enjoys pickleball with his wife, and attends the occasional classic car show, if you know what I mean…”
Other airlines joined Delta in allowing customers to choose a pilot named Steve or Dale or someone else who most likely attended Brigham Young University or Florida State in the ’70s.
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