“Make no mistake, these terrorist threats are credible and were confirmed by multiple intelligence sources and FBI field offices,” said FBI Director Christopher Wray to reporters. “We are advising all law enforcement departments to be on high alert for potential MAGA operatives visiting various voting booths this fall to vote for the people they think are the best candidates, such as Trump, even though he is a yucky poophead and I hate him.”

“This threat to democracy cannot be overstated.”

[Can we even call this satire after the actions in Colorado and Maine? — Ed]