Colorado Supreme Court Demands Jack Phillips Bake Cake To Celebrate Trump Ruling

In a 4-3 decision, the Colorado Supreme Court will require Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips must bake a celebration cake honoring the Colorado Supreme Court’s decision to remove Trump from the ballot.

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“The cake must have the words ‘Dump Trump’ in giant red letters,” said Justice Richard Gabriel in his opinion. “No wait — have it say DRUMPF! HA! Classic. And put some little rainbow flags and Palestinian flags all over it. It is the opinion of the court that failure to bake this cake for us constitutes illegal discrimination.”

Justice Gabriel then banged his gavel loudly to make it official.

“Oh, and it should be chocolate. With buttercream frosting and sprinkles. It’s the law now because I said it.”

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