“I love democracy, and this is why we had to vote to overrule the millions of Colorado citizens who want to elect Trump through the democratic process,” said Colorado Justice and white woman Melissa Hart after the vote. “Trump is a terrifying orange man and if he’s elected he will likely grow to over 50 feet and rampage through the country killing people with his laser eyes. Our democracy is too precious for us to allow that to happen.”

[This isn’t even satire as much as it is a comic analysis. — Ed]