“There shouldn’t be any more coal-fired power plants permitted anywhere in the world,” Kerry began before launching into an anti-coal diatribe.

“I find myself getting more and more militant because I do not understand how adults who are in a position of responsibility can be avoiding responsibility for taking away those things that are killing people on a daily basis…”

Before Kerry can complete his thought, the crude sound of passing gas can be heard over the microphone. The crowd breaks into applause, apparently oblivious to the crude theatrics.

[Are we sure it’s Kerry? There’s a lot of noxious gas that gets emitted on stage in these global-warming struggle sessions. Besides, Kerry releases plenty of these with his private-jet travel on behalf authoritarian measures to prevent people from traveling. — Ed]