DoD Awards Contract to Disney for Producing More Bombs than Lockheed

“This is a momentous day for our company,” said Disney CEO Bob Iger. “We now have a useful channel to funnel our bomb-making efforts. Though the fact that we have been producing bombs of immense scale for the last decade has previously only resulted in losing hundreds of millions of dollars, we can now actually make money with our bombs.” …

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“We thought we knew where to find the biggest bombs,” said Gen. Richard Thornbody. “When we saw the trail of destruction Disney has been leaving in its wake with these bombs, we knew we had to forge a relationship with them.”

[Degree of difficulty on this jibe: <1.0, given Disney's box office in 2023. Execution: 10.0. The Bee usually sticks the landing. Can we drop 'The Marvels' and 'Wish' on Hamas, or is that considered a war crime? -- Ed]

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