“We believe our intentions have been misunderstood,” said Hamas spokesman Zadiq Mohammed Al-Durkadurka. “We didn’t want to start the kind of war where the other side can retaliate and start shooting back. We want the kind where we do the killing. Only us, please. We are sorry for the confusion. Death to Israel, thank you.” …

Hamas continued to cry foul as Israel continued its retaliatory onslaught. “Our allies in the U.S. will hear about this!” shouted Al-Durkadurka. “Someone get the Squad on the phone immediately!”

[Unfortunately, that last part is reality rather than satire. The Squad is going to demand a vote on a resolution that demands a unilateral cease-fire by Israel. I have that in another Headline entry. What is amazing is how many elite Lefties really believe this should be the ‘rule.’ — Ed]