Taylor Swift traded to the Jets

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — In a traumatic upset for the sporting world, Taylor Swift has been traded from the Kansas City Chiefs to the New York Jets, where she will begin dating tight end Tyler Conklin.

“We had to trade three starting players for Swift but I think it will be worth it in the end,” said GM Joe Douglas. “Maybe now everyone will start coming to our games.”

Taylor Swift is reportedly eager to get started with the team. “I’m happy to be back in New York, or at least New York adjacent. I didn’t realize they played in Jersey, which is a bit of a turnoff. But anything is better than Missouri. Like, ew.”