Unlike the wicked yet competent villains of the past, the current batch of scoundrels north of Richmond is more Fredo than Michael Corleone. Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ) is in hot water once again, this time for accepting bribes from Egyptian officials in the form of cash, literal gold bars, and a Mercedes in return for influence. The senator even googled, “How much is an ounce of gold worth?” I have to imagine Michael Corleone would have at least used DuckDuckGo. Fellow Democratic Sens. Sherrod Brown (OH), John Fetterman (PA), and others have called for Menendez to resign. Apparently his amateurish gangsterism is making the rest of them look bad.

President Joe Biden has seemingly served as don for an international crime syndicate spearheaded by his crack-addicted, prostitute-hiring, illegal gun-buying son Hunter for over a decade. Legendary crime boss Paulie Vario (renamed Cicero in the 1990 film Goodfellas) knew not to use the telephone; Hunter Biden didn’t even know not to get high and leave his laptop full of criminal secrets at a random computer repair shop in Delaware. Jimmy Conway, played by Robert DeNiro, shared the “most important rules of life” with Ray Liotta’s character Henry Hill after Hill’s first arrest: “Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.”

[These days, it’s more “take the gun, leave the cannolis.” Gold Bar Bob Menendez has been at it for years, and … the best he can do is stuff cash into jackets with his name on it and then blame Fulgencio Batista for it. New Jersey thought that the DeCavalcante Family was the nadir of gangsterism, but … — Ed]