Despite working on the podcast around the clock for several days, the hosts have had no luck. “It’s starting to look like a lost cause,” Colbert said. “This podcast was intended to be a revolutionary comedy team-up, but it’s slowly turning into a group therapy session while we all come to the realization that we can’t make anyone laugh. I wanted to break out the dancing syringes, but they’re all on strike. Whenever I couldn’t get laughs before, I could fall back on my vaccine propaganda. What am I supposed to do now?” …

At publishing time, the hosts were rumored to be regretting their decision to not invite former talk show host Conan O’Brien, which would have sufficiently camouflaged their lack of comedy talent.

[Ouch, baby, very ouch! This is only barely satire, though. The podcast with the five hosts is real enough, involving Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, “and someone named Seth Myers,” as the Bee puts it. They wanted a creative outlet while the writers are on strike. I don’t think anyone’s missing them at the moment, though. — Ed]