“By banning racism, the extremist right-wing Supreme Court has banned anti-racism,” said Congresswoman AOC. “This will greatly hinder our ability to tinker with human behavior until everything looks like like we think it should in our infinitely wise minds. Minorities are NOTHING without us! How will they survive? This is a tragic day for America.”

Experts say that this move will allow people to go to college based on their hard work and merit, rather than their skin color, finally realizing MLK’s dream. They also estimated that by 2025 all college students in the country will be Asian.

[Man, I love the Bee. Mainly because it’s only barely satirical. — Ed]