Therefore, dear reader, you will forgive me for not paying much attention on Tuesday when former President Trump was in a Manhattan court, getting arraigned, because I was watching events unfolding in the Federal court in Manhattan, which is located around the corner from where The Donald was, unironically at the edge of Chinatown. That’s where a prominent citizen of the People’s Republic of China, one Guo Wengui, attended his bail hearing. The 52-year-old Guo, whose legal name is Ho Wan Kwok, yet possesses a raft of aliases (in addition to Guo Wengui, AKA Miles Guo, AKA Miles Kwok, AKA Brother Seven, AKA The Principal, AKA Kin Ming Je, AKA William Je: those are the ones the Feds know about), wanted to get out of jail before his trial on the very serious charges the Department of Justice arrested him on last month, which boil down to an over $1 billion fraud scheme.

To cut to the chase, Guo failed. The court refused to grant bail to the accused since prosecutors made a convincing case that the shady international man of mystery, with his numerous passports from several countries, on top of the $394,000 in cash stashed in a safe in his mansion in New Jersey which Guo failed to disclose to the court, not to mention $100,000 worth of gold and foreign currency pus $35 million in bank accounts in the U.S., Britain, Switzerland and maybe Kazakhstan, represented a serious flight risk. Judges don’t appreciate those games, therefore Guo’s not going anywhere.