As tensions continue to rise amid negotiations for a new contract, Los Angeles Unified School District teachers threatened to return to their classrooms and resume teaching students if their demands are not met.

“If the school district refuses to give us what we want, we’ll start teaching again!” warned Sparkle Stardust, a transgender pansexual who teaches 2nd grade. “We mean business! If they aren’t willing to agree to every request, we’ll be back in those classrooms and totally grooming everyone’s children! Don’t try us!”

Concerned parents have been strongly urging the school district to stand firm and not cave to the teachers’ union demands, citing improved dispositions in their children and far less mental and emotional damage being inflicted on them when they aren’t attending class.