Genius director makes 190-minute movie about water with no bathroom breaks

James Cameron, acclaimed director of Avatar, a 2009 movie about estrogen-infused Smurfs, is releasing the much-anticipated sequel in theaters worldwide. The genius director decided moviegoers would flock to see a 190-minute movie about water with no bathroom breaks.

44 oz Cokes are expected to be among the concessions purchased by the dumbest viewers in attendance.

“My flick has so dang many waterfalls,” said Mr. Cameron during a screening of the movie to attendees excited enough to submit to testing the bursting point of their own bladders. “Water gushing everywhere, streaming down the giant screen in rivulets and torrents.”

[At least the Lord of the Rings had Arwen sequences to signal the fan base to make a run for the urinals. — Ed]