A few years ago, cow flatulence was going to keep the world from achieving its climate goals, so Bessie was targeted for her carbon hoofprint.

That was child’s play compared to the CNN column, recapping a study that immediate action was necessary to stop the pending climate catastrophe. Their solutions? Don’t bring large-breed animals into your home, and no matter the size, feed Fido or Fluffy only insect-based meals.

According to the CNN column, “Their [pets’] meat-heavy diet is the biggest contributor to their carbon pawprints, which requires an abundance of energy, land and water to produce. And the production of pet food emits huge amounts of planet-warming gases … if our furry friends formed a separate country, it would rank 5th in global meat consumption behind China, the US, Brazil and Russia.”

As a pet owner, the thought of sacrificing any of my six dogs — three small-breed and three whose size exceeds 45 pounds apiece — is both laughable and irritating. My girls’ care, feeding, health and exercise is top-notch, and their importance to my family is beyond anything the world would achieve by eliminating the larger three, or replacing the occasional beef or chicken-based treats with a grub, grasshopper or glowworm.