Dumbest criminal of the day is ...

In Missouri, Michael Conley Loyd, 30, pleaded guilty last week to bank robbery. That is not particularly notable, but Loyd wrote his demand note to the teller on the back of his birth certificate and robbed the bank while wearing an ankle monitor. It only got more bizarre from there.

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Loyd took his roommate’s truck to the robbery. He told police that he really did not have a particular bank in mind and selected the Bank of America in Springfield by random. He then panicked after succeeding in getting the money. He threw his birth certificate and ID out the window as he fled. As he passed police cruisers, he anxiety increased and he began to throw the money out of the window.

The boyfriend of Loyd’s roommate reportedly later called police and they picked up Loyd (appropriately enough) at the Lazy Acres Mobile Home Park.

Before one complains about the lack of effort by millennials as bank robbers, Loyd made one comment that stood out on the criminal complaint below. He said that he robbed the bank “because he and his lover . . . had gotten into a fight and he wanted to ‘prove a point.’” It is not clear what point that was beyond how not to rob a bank or why his girlfriend should be more judicious in finding a life partner.

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