As of early Friday afternoon, America’s voting system has devolved from a global beacon of democracy to an international punchline. A bright neon sign warns: “Don’t try this at home.”

Mechanical breakdowns, baffling “ballot dumps,” and inexplicable pauses in tabulation have buried the Arizona and Nevada senatorial and gubernatorial results in sand.

Alaska has soiled itself with a new, needless, and odious rank-choice-voting process. Rather than Tuesday’s top vote-getter winning the Senate seat, Republicans Lisa Murkowski, Kelly Tshibaka, Buzz Kelley, and Democrat Patricia Chesboro are mired in a glacial redistribution of each losing candidate’s votes to those ranked higher. This ballot buffoonery could continue for weeks.

In the U.S. House, 32 seats remain uncalled. Republicans have yet to secure their expected slim majority, thanks to dilatory vote counts and mail-in ballots that land more slowly than falling autumn leaves.

Who will be the next mayor of Los Angeles? At this writing, 64 hours after polls closed, nobody knows. Some 900,000 ballots await tabulation! In 10 California congressional contests, fewer than half of the ballots have been counted, per Politico. In the Sixth District, only 35 percent of ballots have been tabulated!

What America needs is a major cleanup of our self-humiliating voting system.