It is important to note that the five-day period after Yom Kippur leading up to Sukkot is the Jewish calendar’s most dangerous day. Those days aren’t hazardous because God starts zapping those who didn’t make it into the book or iPad of life on Yom Kippur. It’s dangerous because that’s the one time each year some Jewish men use tools to create a Sukkah (a hut that has nothing to do with Jabba).

As you can see in the picture above. A Sukkah is a flimsy hut built for the Holiday. How flimsy? Imagine if Ikea made houses—a Sukkah is much more fragile than that One purpose of the Sukkah is to remind Jews of the way they lived when Moses was leading them through the desert wilderness. It took 40 years because, as Mrs. Moses, whose name was Zipporah complained, not once did he stop at the ancient equivalent of a gas station to ask for directions. …

As mentioned above, Jews aren’t great with tools. For many of us (like yours truly), the last time we picked up a tool or climbed up a ladder was last year’s Sukkot. If you peek out your window and watch a Jewish neighbor build their Sukkah, make sure you have no food in your mouth. You will probably snort, or belly laugh your food out your nose. Building a Sukkah is the construction version of the “Keystone Kops” (only funnier).

If the annual building project is proceeding horribly, some of the builders can be heard screaming about their failure in strange tongues. Last year my neighbor Larry, a huge Star Trek fan, hit his thumb with a hammer and screamed, “vaj ghorDu’, which is Klingon for “oh crap, that hurts.” My friend Ed screamed, “ó cacamas a ghortaíonn” the exact phrase as Larry’s but in Irish. Ed is not Jewish. He’s an observant Catholic and has never built a Sukkah. His Irish scream was just to show sympathy for his Jewish friends.