New Report indicates Biden 'quiet quit' the presidency months ago

An anonymous White House aide has leaked sensitive information which confirms the validity of rumors that have long been circulating throughout the nation’s capital: Joe Biden “quiet quit” the presidency several months ago.

“I first became suspicious after his fifty-fourth vacation,” said the anonymous tipster. “I only get two weeks a year!”

The White House aide continued, “But when he started to literally spend all of his time binge-watching Bluey and eating goldfish crackers, it really became evident that he just wasn’t even trying anymore.”