Sometimes well-intentioned acts of kindness can be fraught, like offering a seat on the bus to a woman who might or might not be pregnant. And sometimes we fear embarrassment or rejection.

This might explain why the most common kind act that people reported carrying out, was “helping people when they ask”. Now that might sound a little grudging. How truly kind is an act if you have to be asked to do it? But to me it seems instructive that this came top. Perhaps we are nervous about offering help, but very happy to do it once we know the person welcomes our assistance.

There’s another finding which might shed light on our reticence. The biggest factor associated with kindness wasn’t age or income, but personality. We used a scale which measured what are known as the Big Five personality factors. Not surprisingly the kindest people scored high on “agreeableness”, but they also scored high on extraversion and openness.

I wonder whether these people feel more able to offer their help, not necessarily because they want to help any more than anyone else, but that their extraversion and their openness (their fondness for new experiences) makes them less fearful of what might happen when they do.