Damon isn’t alone among the celebrities working to convince average Americans to join them in the cool, fun, totally not a scam, world of crypto investing. Adding a glamorous appeal to what’s essentially speculation is crucial for the burgeoning currency market and adjacent industries like the trade in non-fungible tokens. NFT’s and cryptocurrency’s value increases only according to demand and perceived scarcity — and demand for an imaginary good has to come from somewhere. Hence Damon’s awkward shilling and Paris Hilton’s cringeworthy promo for a six-figure token connected to a rather hideous drawing of an ape. “Don’t get left behind,” they seem to say, “invest in tulips today and join your peers among the other wealthy geniuses of the world.”

Meanwhile, after decades of opposing gambling as a moral wrong that will bring down the noble sport of football, the NFL has had a real on the road to Damascus moment this season. Rather than a message from on high, though, the league has heard the siren call of a billion dollars in potential revenue for the league and its teams over the next decade. As a result, the NFL now has partnered with seven sportsbook companies, letting them place ads that run during games…

Both crypto markets and sports gambling rely on more people losing out than striking it rich to survive. The only difference between the two is transparency: At least when betting on the Rams or Bengals, you’re told the odds of winning up-front.