He has managed to hire the worst consultants on Earth. As a result, his terrible Twitter account pumps out cheesy versions of what people who hate the Trumpian base think the Trumpian base is eager to hear: “Washington elites want to control your life. I’m running for the U.S. Senate to put YOU back in control.” I can just see these geniuses sitting around a table, saying “You know what the focus groups tell us those hillbillies hate? Washington elites. Let’s go with that!”

And what the hell do we make of this word succotash? “I will work to bridge the gap between the Left and the Right and focus on bringing results. Let’s make America healthy again!” Can someone translate that from Consultant into English? We’re one step away from him tweeting, “Let’s reach across the aisle to work together to bring a brighter tomorrow for the children!” Sheesh.

But the most hilarious hackery comes when his courtiers take a page from some old 2005 issue of the pre-sunk Weekly Standard to generate cliché derby champions like this: “I’m here to promise you one thing: I am going to help reignite the divine spark inside every American and empower us to live better lives.”

Yo Doc, we’re looking for people to ignite the establishment and the institutions, not our souls.