A guide to conservative commentators

The Conservative Caser
‘The Conservative Case for Open Borders’. ‘The Conservative Case for Critical Race Theory’. ‘The Conservative Case for Prescribing Puberty Blockers to Kids’. You know there is nothing wrong with challenging each other’s tribal assumptions. Still, you have to ask yourself exactly where the Conservative Caser disagrees with progressives. On the exact percentage of top rate income tax? Perhaps. But what else?

The Ronald Reagan Misser
Ah, the Eighties! Communism was in retreat. The economy was booming. A genteel Republican president held office. The Ronald Reagan Misser remembers those times like a man remembers his first love. If only America had a Ronald Reagan now. Sure, we live in a completely different world, but a few paternal homilies, as well as stout resolve in the face of foreign evil, could help us to build a new one. It could be morning in America, I tell you. Morning in America. Morning. Mourning.

The Decline Wallower
Did you see this children’s cartoon with a transsexual hippo? Did you see this Jacobin op-ed about the revolutionary power of crack? Did you see this hardcore porn? The Decline Wallower did, and they want to tell you about it in detail. Will they ever get married, have kids and enjoy the ‘trad’ ideals they admire? Perhaps. But for now there is too much decline to wallow in. Did you see this Netflix series about a gender bending prostitute? Decline!