You’re not my dad, Gov. Cuomo — and please stop pretending

Gov. Andrew Cuomo has a parenting problem. Not with his own children, but with the 8 million incorrigible residents of Gotham, who refuse to bend to his will. He has tried everything: groundings, lectures, threatening to send them to bed without supper (at restaurants). And yet these ungrateful brats continue to question the more ridiculous of his ever-changing and often-irrational COVID-19 guidelines.

And this is a problem for a man like Cuomo, who seems to fancy himself the Father of New York, much like a Central Asian dictator might think of his nation as his children.

His most recent edict was implementing an early bedtime for New York City in response to spiking cases. He ordered bars, restaurants and gyms to close their doors at 10 p.m., sparking ire and confusion. After all, it isn’t as though the virus becomes more dangerous after dark, and already-struggling eateries would have to shut down during prime late-night dinner hours. The city that never sleeps must now turn in early, courtesy of Cuomo’s disciplinarian governance.