I forced a bot to write an Amy Coney Barrett story based on media reporting

Trump is making the controversial nomination to replace beloved preeminent female Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, whose death rocked the nation to its core. Democrats have argued in favor of democracy while Republicans seized on Ginsburg’s death to commit hypocrisy. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) vowed to proceed with the nomination despite his role in the 2016 murder of Merrick Garland.

Abortion is the primary issue. Judge Barrett believes in extreme opposition, citing so-called “sacred” texts to justify the persecution of women. Problematically, the potential nominee belongs to what experts describe as an arcane cult whose rituals have been debunked by science. Members have been known to convene at least once a week to worship a bearded zealot turned zombie whose mother was impregnated by a ghost.