The story’s headline reads, “America’s national parks face existential crisis over race,” adding in the subhead, “A mostly white workforce, visitation threatens parks’ survival and public health.”

“Just 23% of visitors to the parks were people of color,” the report adds, “77% were white. Minorities make up 42% of the U.S. population.”

As it turns out, white people really enjoy hiking and camping, and that is problematic. The article then goes on to quote people of color who say they do not feel welcome at national parks. These advocates, the article reads, “say they hope the moment since George Floyd’s death in police custody brings attention to systemic racism in the outdoors as well as other parts of society and translates into a long-term change in attitudes and behavior.” Sorry, everyone. Even national parks are racist now. I knew those bald eagles were up to no good.

This is not normal behavior from our press. This is a mental breakdown in the works. People of the future will look at all this and wonder how on earth this made it into print.