I had hoped that one of President Trump’s “just calling balls and strikes” defenders in the conservative media would have written this column so I didn’t have to but—and I know this sounds crazy—the cupboard seems to be prettttty bare when it comes to Trump attaboys out there on the internets. I mean, aside from Whiplash Survivor Association of America spokesperson Scott Walker.)

Maybe it’s because the folks in Conservatism Inc. are all just so awed by the president’s performance that they’re struggling to find the right words to describe its magnificence.

I looked around National Review, the Federalist, the Daily Caller, Fox News, and the Daily Wire. Lotta content about how bad the media is. None of the sites are very big fans of antifa. But not many pro-Trump attaboys. Trump couldn’t even get a pat on the back from Tucker Carlson. (Tucker was unhappy with the meager amount of antifa blood on the streets. Just you wait, big guy.)

Where is the commentary in support of President Trump’s red hot tweets? Why is it so hard to find a column praising Trump’s courageous decision to gas clergy members so he could hold a Bible in the air like it was a gross diaper he didn’t want to smell?