Suck it, Bernie Bros. The socialist dream is dead.

Sure, Joe Biden went along with some of Sanders’ crazy-pants positions, but he probably doesn’t remember them and certainly won’t fight for them. A guy who called Strom Thurmond “one of my closest friends” and whose idea of a hip cultural reference is Fig Newtons isn’t going to push hard for the revolution. He’ll be a caretaker president, and also a caretaken president, expertly guarded from sharp objects by a loving staff of advisers and home-health aides. Biden thinks of the White House as a sort of super-posh nursing home where he can say things like, “We cannot let this, we’ve never allowed any crisis from the Civil War straight through to the pandemic of 17, all the way around, 16, we have never, never let our democracy sakes second fiddle, way they, we can both have a democracy and elections and at the same time correct the public health” and everyone around him will nod politely and ask, would Mr. President like his applesauce now, or after watching “Matlock”?

Without a candidate as despised as Hillary Clinton around, Sanders stood exposed as a niche item whose only real constituency was the “Chapo Trap House” army of beardy liberal arts majors who think America should retroactively pay for those four-year vacations from reality they took at Bowdoin. Sorry, Bernie Bros, you may write 10,000 more angry blog items about “late capitalism” while Mom serves you Chips Ahoy, but it’s socialism whose time is up.

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