Most of the country is in the corona truther camp, but you are being held captive by corona deniers. You are wasting precious seconds and spilling dwindling political capital defending sweaty imbeciles with government makework jobs. I know you trusted them for their “expertise,” but these swampheads are only succeeding at digging your hole deeper.

Speaking of holes, I don’t wish to be tossed into one any time soon.

True medieval horrors await those unlucky enough to be caught in the cruel corona vortex: bilateral interstitial pneumonia, medically induced comas, intubation, multi-organ failure, sudden cardiac arrest: these are the fates that await many, many Americans—including thousands of 60+ year-old Trump voters—if you cling to your present course.

And those are the lucky ones who get treatment. Doctors at every hospital in America are, this minute, preparing to triage those they will not have the capacity to help. Don’t bring Obamacare-style death panels back from the dead!

Wuhan approacheth, and fast. It’s not too late. It’s almost too late, and you should have done this a month or more ago. The drawbridge is closing, the train is pulling away, the rocket is lifting off, but we can still avert the worst.