Dear President Trump: The ultimate impeachment deal is to abdicate right now

Bear with me here, especially because Trump is about as contrarian and stubborn as they come. To say nothing of the fact that he is highly unlikely to take advice from a contemptuous libtard like me. But the idea of Trump abdicating still makes a lot of completely objective sense. He will most certainly be impeached by the House whenever that vote comes. And for good reason: His behavior as president has been largely and repeatedly unconscionable. The fact that the Republicans in the Senate will allow him to get away with his impeachable offenses is not a good reason for why he should continue to stick around the Oval Office. Impeachment is forever. It’s for the history books. He can’t erase it from his tombstone, regardless of whether the Senate lets him slide on the removal from office part of the equation. It’s a permanent status humiliation—his own particular, inescapable circle of hell. He’ll be a world-historic loser.

Therefore, he should sooner rather than later arrange for a meeting, say at Camp David, with House leaders—Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, and Jerry Nadler (okay, Kevin McCarthy can come too)—and cut a deal with them, literally for the history books. In exchange for the House leadership agreeing to drop impeachment proceedings, Trump would agree not to stand for reelection in 2020 and to leave office, without commotion or regret, in January 2021. With that grand bargaining chip, he might be able to secure a few more side deals: an agreement that he will not be prosecuted when he returns to Trump Tower, and an agreement that his children won’t be prosecuted either. He might be able to secure an agreement to keep the books and records of the Trump Organization from seeing the light of day, and, of course, to keep his tax returns—the pieces of paper he seems to care more about than any other—out of the public realm. (Unfortunately, with Trump and family free of prosecutions, he might not need to ensure the continued silence of other key allies with pardons—sorry, Rudy.)