Hurry up! Sports has a time problem

Perhaps the most chronic time offender is golf. A sport invented to ruin the weekends of reasonable human beings, golf is not tailored for accelerated modern life.

You need at least four hours to play 18 holes of golf, and that’s if you’re playing briskly. Four free hours? Who do you think I am, Jay Gatsby? Do you think leisure time exists in 2019? I have to take the kids to a birthday party, shop for organic cheese sticks at Trader Joe’s, get the car washed, and it turns out the cat may finally have to go to the vet for a hairball thing.

Four hours? I can give you 20 minutes. How much golf can we do?

Even golf pros think golf can go on too long. Witness the recent controversy around the young golf star Bryson DeChambeau, a wildly talented, tournament-winning 25-year-old who sometimes moves around a golf course like, well, a tortoise on Benadryl.