Fellow men: It’s really not that difficult to respect women

Guess how many women I sexually assaulted yesterday? Zero.

You see, it’s really not that difficult. I steadfastly refuse to rape a woman or kill a black person; despite the fact I am a straight white male. By being vocal about this I hope to encourage other straight white men to follow my example.

Respecting women is a full-time job if you’re a privileged white man (n.b. all white men are privileged by default), but I am living proof that it is possible. Every white man on the planet is guilty of horrendous abuse, even if he believes otherwise (apart from myself of course). I aim to change this. Every day I strive to recognize my own masculine toxicity and male arrogance. I rise above the urge to mansplain. I deftly levitate over my natural compulsion to assert dominance over any female who graciously shares her space with me. I transcend the masculine impulse to patronize those captivating creatures we call ‘women’.